Hey you, how's life?

Good?

Well... Good to be you.

What? It sucks?

Hey, guess what? Me too. Maybe even worse than yours. I'll let Fiona elaborate on that matter.

Warning : Word-heavy post. Might contain a few swear words here and there. Leave if you're not up for it.


Angry Fiona

So, my not-even-one-month-old Asus is now on its way to the Asus factory somewhere in Malaysia, WAITING TO BE SCRATCHED(again) BY SOME TECHNICIAN WHO DOESN'T CARE ABOUT LAPTOPS ON WARRANTY. It was working fine, and suddenly one day the webcam settings went haywire and made me look like i'm an android or something. After about a few days troubleshooting myself, i asked for my technician friend's help. After he failed, warranty was the only way :( WTF to the max!

It sucks not to have my personal PC. Where i can blog in the comfort of my own room, where i can cry whenever i get a little too emo writing a post. I can't upload stuff at ease because i don't have any photos in the shared desktop, and i gotta fetch my portable hard disk from upstairs to do it. (Yeah yeah yeah i'm lazy, aren't we all?). And i'm not gonna be on MSN or Skype. Blergh!

What if my laptop comes back super flawed?! I even asked my friend to stick a notebook skin on top of it to protect it. So when it comes back, i gotta take it out again and it'll be all sticky and guey :( Anyhow i'm afraid that it'll come back with another problem and i gotta send it back again wtf if that happens i gotta complain to my boss kao kao!

Haaaaih.


Working Fiona

Hey there! Guess what?

I'm having sooooo much fun at work! Let me tell you a little bit about what i do. I go to work before 9.30am every morning because somehow i was entrusted with the keys to the office, therefore i gotta go and open it. Since i'm the first one there, i gotta switch on all the switches to whatever we'll be using throughout the day, and continue what i've left off the day before.... until lunch time. Yeap. There's no time to stone before anyone comes because it's really that busy at this time of the year. And after lunch time, SOMETIMES the boss will bring her poodle along and that is pretty much the only entertaining thing happening every day.

Oh wait! There's another super cool thing i do every day. Cracking secret codes. You don't believe me? Try reading the same chinese characters that looks different EVERY SINGLE TIME YOU READ IT. Yeap. The thing with dealing with these chinese shop/restaurant's accounts, they freaking use chinese characters in their records! Some of them write their stuff in English, yes, but then out of nowhere a few chinese words would pop out. And then, i gotta stand up, go to the nearest person and get 'em translated for me. And then i sit down to continue keying in the receipts. And then, after a few receipts, another chinese one pops out again! And the process repeats itself. Sometimes i get smart and mark a few chinese ones so that i can ask them altogether at once, but by the time i reach my desk, i already forgot what she told me because you have NO IDEA how those chinese words look so similar to each other! And sometimes they are the same words, but trust me they look totally DIFFERENT from each other! So i had to stand up and ask again. Double work. Wtf to the max.

I'm sooo thankful that this isn't my permanent job. But still, after i graduate, isn't this more or less what i'll be doing? Sometimes, it seems tolerable to me. Sometimes, i feel like just hanging myself sitting at that desk for another 5 minutes. I brought my iPod to work once, and that was the only thing the day passed quickly. Can i bring my iPod to work everyday? One day i'll get bored of listening to music the whole day too.

Sigh.

Why must the whole world be so judgemental? What, if i become an air-stewardess, i'm a hooker on air is it?? If i become an accountant i'm a boring person from the inside out is it? If i become a shrink one day i will become a patient myself is it?? Who sets the fine line between a 'noble job' and a 'normal job'? Aren't we supposed to respect and appreciate every job in the society since we need every single one of them to get the world going?

Sometimes, we are forced to do or think the way the society teaches us. We are this only if we do that. We will become this only if we do that. Who says that that is the way we are supposed to live our lives?

Though i'm no fan of Selena Gomez, here's a song as a break from all those words lol.

Heartbroken Fiona

Heartbroken Fiona is heartbroken because of several reasons. Okay lah actually just two but wtf two is enough for a lifetime's worth of pain okay. Who would have guessed that friends would cause such an extent of heartbreak?

I really don't feel like elaborating much so i'll just brush through.

Firstly, i'm like semi-marooned by this one group of friends, only if a certain someone is around. If that certain someone is NOT around, they treat me like how they used to treat me last time. As a normal human being, as a friend. As much as i want to admit it, i am NOT that seductive that every testosterone-filled creature that gaze upon me will fall into my vixen trap okay? Even if that's so, i'm pretty much a loser vixen who can't set her spell upon the victim she wishes to have. ANYWAY. Deal with thy insecurities thyself okay?

And then.. I'm stuck in the middle of a situation where i have one of my closest friends on the left, and a friend whom i just got to know this year on the right. From a third person's perspective, i've done what i've done. But it still seems like it's the 'wrong' thing to do. What is the 'right' thing to do? Say something which is clearly wrong when i know what is clearly right?

Again, sigh.

Thinking Fiona

Is it just me or did anyone realise that my emo posts outnumbered my un-emo posts nowadays? Is it due to the fact that i'm aging? Or is it just the fact that i have too much time on my hands doing NOTHING (not entirely true) so i have too much time to think and hence on the verge of falling into depression? Maybe i am, maybe i'm not. My life seems to be in an upside down position now, and i haven't even started university yet! I foresee a bigger and gloomier storm ahead of me after my graduation wtf T___T

I think so much these days. I think when my body runs on auto pilot whilst keying in the receipts and cheques and stuff during work. Seriously i think i'm damn geng you know. I can key in while think about everything under the sun (without mistakes some more haha!) and when the auto-pilot part of me realised there's an error somewhere, i gain full attention, solve the error, and then i go back to auto-pilot/thinking again. What do i think of? Everything. How i hate my job, how my eyes gets SO tired looking at numbers and the computer screen the whole day, how my tummy is getting bigger and bigger each day but my numerous attempts of going on that cross-trainer seems to fail every single time (FML), how i feel terribly guilty and sorry for Mother Nature since i now have 8 freaking air-cons in my house even though we don't switch them on all the time, etc.

I guess the article where my friend teased me about women being overthinkers in one of the MUET practices we did in class were true. I guess having too much time on one's hands are dangerous. Maybe that's why i've been such a workaholic (according to cal). Even now, with the current job, i still keep myself busy and work the whole day with minimum breaks while all the aunties in the office keep telling me to give myself a break. But somehow when i'm working i can still run on auto-pilot wtf =.=


At this moment.... I'm depressed :(


Okay Fiona is now kind of tired and gotta sleep so that she will be fully charged to go into battlefield tomorrow! More secret codes to crack. I'm so proud of myself *sniff*.

Oyasumi.