PAST

This place, where I am now, I don't like to come here. Not for long at least. The memories of the past comes flooding in, gushing in, like a tsunami. Or a wrecking ball, if I may. It's surprising how one may think that it is all in the past, out-of-sight-out-of-mind style ey? The one BIG problem for this approach; once it's in your sight, it is revived in your mind.

Thoughts.

Poison.

Perhentian Island (Kecil) 2014

WARNING: SUPER long post ahead. 

Spent two days writing this post in between my VD marathon and didn't want to separate into two posts, so yeahh. 

Have fun enjoying my first post in 2014 :) 

Few weeks ago when my friends and i were planning on a post-exam trip to somewhere awesome, a few islands came into mind, we discussed, and in the end we chose Perhentian Island since it was highly raved by so many people who went there. Being the Asians that we were, we wanted to find out about the place before we went there, looked for blog posts, reviews, transportation and accomodation. TO NO AVAIL. Okay it wasn't really actually to no avail, but we needed to do a lot of 'research' online to find out sufficient information about the trip, only to find out that we couldn't book a room where we wanted to stay. Hence, the thought of writing this post. Oh, and did i mention we found out that there was actually a Perhentian Besar (more local family-oriented area) and Perhentian Kecil (where it was supposedly more happening place, more suitable for young people - obviously we were gonna stay there)? So yeah, this was actually quite un-planned, as compared to the previous trips that we had been, seeing that we only went to buy the bus ticket 2 days before departure and Evelyn whatsapping chalet receptionists on our way to Perhentian Kecil.

For your convenience, this is a blog post about Coral Bay Beach experience, and this is one for Long Beach experience.

Anyhooooo, back to my experience.

Day 1

HL was kind enough to get the bus ticket for us for Sani Express from Hentian Putra (if you're planning to leave from KL, because that is the only place to go Perhentian via bus) at RM45 for one way to Kuala Besut. Apparently there was only one morning and one night travels of KL-Kuala Besut per day, so you have to plan your days well accordingly. We  at 10pm and arrived the jetty at around 6.30am the next morning after all the little stops along the way. Lucky for us, we didn't need to wait long until the first boat to the island at 7am, which cost us RM70 to and fro. We also bought a return bus ticket from the aunty at the jetty for RM47 because she kept scaring us about how we might not be able to buy a ticket back to KL when we come back because it is a weekend. Better to be safe than sorry i guess? So off we went! 

(Time for pictures, y'all!)

This is a view of Perhentian Kecil at half past 7 in the morning. Doesn't it seem like we're driving into the sunrise? Oh, my camera takes awesome pictures. Sad that it's gone now. (Story of its tragic death later on)

This is my travel companions, minus Hwa Lee, the photographer. Her photo will come later on :) Evelyn and Shilpa were attemping (?) to do the YOLO sign, as a symbol of how our trip will be like. But it wasn't really a YOLO trip actually hahaha

So, we arrived at the beach at about 7.30am and were eyeing for Panorama Chalet and Matahari Chalet because we have read reviews and concluded that these two places are our top priority. They weren't kidding when they said these two chalets were next to each other. We left our bags on some snorkeling vendor's bench while some of us stayed with the bags and the rest went to look and enquire about rooms.

Sorry for the bad photo, for the rising sun was shining brightly and hiding the Matahari Chalet signboard. It was a crazy and funny experience looking for the reception, because their reception are like this: 

Small table in the breakfast place. Don't get me started on Matahari Chalet's reception, because i wasn't wearing slippers around and we had to go through this little road through grasses to get to the BACK, following a weird little signboard to get to the reception (Thank you two kind white women having their breakfast to tell us where to find the reception), so i didn't follow. Did NOT want to get my bare foot bleeding before i even start my snorkeling trips. 

So we settled for Panorama's family room (with A/C) at RM200 with two queen size bed and enough place for one extra bed at RM20. Matahari only had some double rooms for RM150 (with A/C too), so we chose Panorama as the more economical choice. Sorry i did not take pictures of the room, but some pictures later on might give you an idea how the room was like. It only had ONE yellow bulb in the middle of the room and one more bulb in the toilet, but the electricity comes only at night and mid-day, which was written at the website. I brought a torchlight, so we used it in the bathroom when we needed to bathe during no-electricity hours. 

The view of Panorama chalets

After we settled in the room, we all got ready for LE BEACH :D All armoured with sun block and swim wears, we had a little breakfast at ridiculous price, and then went for snorkeling. Each chalets have their own snorkeling package, so we thought we would save the trouble of going around and just went on with it. I negotiated RM45 instead of RM50 for a long trip of snorkeling :) And so, we went.

But first, lemme take a selfie;

Must love Ryan's GoPro! (which she went all the way to Singapore to collect from her brother and back just in time for the trip - Thank Youuuuu) Though it didn't take the BEST pictures out of water, all underwater photos in this post are from her GoPro. Or maybe it was just all of us noobies who do not know how to operate the camera properly :P But as you can see, the quality of the pictures was better gradually.

Poor couple are trying as hard as possible to seem invisible while we take our Asian selfies. But did you notice that dude's eyes trying to peep at us? Fufufufu

We had quite a boring guide this trip, so it was just o-kay for me. And the marine life was nice, as usual, but not as i had expected. Long trip for snorkeling consist of around 6 places including one at some village for lunch. Horrible, expensive lunch. But it was expected as island food are always more expensive. Be prepared to eat mostly Malay food, for those who can stand it or not-up-to-standard Western food. 

 The last stop was at some beach where the boatman stopped us from far away, and told us to swim to the beach ourselves to hang out. All of us got down and swam at our own pace, except Evelyn and Ryan who took the boat to the beach after a short while in the water. 

And so, the boatman had a nap in the boat while we whip out the cameras when we reached the beach. Somehow Shilpa thought it would be funny to untie my bikini top while we were getting ready for a shot and this is her running as far away as possible from me after doing it. 

And the angel Moh swimming to my rescue to help me tie it back. 

Shilpa swimming back to the group cautiously as i give my Fiona glare at her. Maybe a little Damon-evil-smirk as well (Forgive me for the Vampire Diaries reference, Shilpa got me all hooked onto it now that exams are over.) Eventually i pulled down her bikini bottom to expose her butt, because, revenge :) Thank God for crystal clear water, ey? 

All is well after, and we took a selfie. So we finally got our group picture after all the hoo-ha and a few individual shots. Looking AWESOME. 

And helped shilpa get a boob job and penis transplant.

After we lost purpose of staying on the beach for such a long time, we went back to the boat only to find that the couple was napping on the boat, either being tired of waiting for us or just having a nap on the boat feels good. I'd prefer to think the later to free myself from guilt though (Hehe!). Oh, and did i say that there was absolutely NO TOILET on that beach? There were a few huts here and there, so i was expecting there are some toilets but all of them were chained shut so eventually i asked a local guy (also napping wtf) where is the toilet and he said there are none on that beach. My poor poor bladder T.T

So yeah we went back at around 3-ish, I PEED, went back to the room and chill, and came out for our dinner again. Shall i show you the result of the first day of snorkeling?

It gets worse. On a side note, i LOVE the restaurants here. I can just take out the slippers and dig my toes into the sand during meals while you chat with your friends. Life is just.... chill. The smartest thing they have on the menu is the ice shaved juices OH YUMS. Did not take a picture of it, but it's just normal ice shaved fruit juices that tastes heavenly in the weather, and after a day of having sea water in your mouth. 

Being the alcoholic which we are all NOT, we drank in the room by nightfall. We brought our own bottles because from 'researches' and what my brother told me, there were only cheap rum for sale on the island. But from what i see, there were beer at the bar there too. 

Taken from HL's phone is me terrorizing Kailing with my sunburnt ass with Moh lying down at the side and Shilpa helping me, as usual. Well actually main purpose of this picture is to show you half of the room but i can't exactly crop out us right? So yeah. That's me in a very unglam manner on my blog. 

Oh and did i mention it was Evelyn's birthday the day we arrived there? Yeaaaah she was supposed to be pissed drunk, but we were gonna go snorkel the next day so better not. And due to some miscommunication which i will not reveal here, we took this very weird picture of us. Interpret it however you want alright.

I am hereby ashamed to say that we all slept at 10pm. I kept on saying "OH MAI GOSH i can't believe we're on vacation and sleeping at 10pm". Everyone ignored me. Said again. And was ignored again. Oh my dog life. But everyone was tired from our night ride to reach here in the morning. The seats were comfortable, don't get me wrong. But it's not a BED, y'know? I don't know about the rest, but i'm not the type who can sleep anywhere and everywhere, so i kept waking up and sometimes i just stare at the road. And the reviews were right about rooms being unavailable if you reach late, because we reached earlier than the reception was open at 8am so we got to go first at the reception, and they only had a handful of room left. Being the kiasu Asians, we quickly said yes to this family room when they said they only have one room left (which they only allowed a maximum of 5 people per room, but we had our ways of deceit to fit 7 in one *wink wink*). The people who talked to the reception after us had no more rooms and had to go other places to search for it. 

Day 2

I woke up, followed by Ryan because the A/C stopped working in the morning so we happily used the bathroom while the others sleep. And when the rest of them woke and we got ready. Mannn, now that i think back, we did take a LONG time to get ready. Everyone was arming their body with sunblock (that took almost forever) and then there was the whole dilemma of what to leave in the room (and risk being stolen - worst case scenario + paranoid us, don't worry thieves are not lurking around the island lol) and what to leave in the locker. Yeah, we had a locker service :) And by locker, i meant placing your valuables in a plastic ziploc to be placed at the reception for safeguard, with you writing down the amount of cash you put there and the valuable items, and they give you a receipt after. 

We didn't want to have breakfast at the place we stayed in anymore, because they were expensive and not worthy of eating. And also we want to explore around if there's any nice food around. Found a place further down the beach. We had roti canai because the guy was telling us that's the fastest food since everyone else haven't had their food yet. When we looked around, all the tables haven't had their food yet. So roti canai, we ordered. 

SDJ demanded me to insert this in my post: See where it's written plain roti canai for RM3? In the menu it's written RM6, but actually you get two pieces there. So it's actually one piece of plain roti canai for RM6. Doubts cleared.

And a pointer if you are to come here and order food, you gotta wait for them to FINISH writing the orders, then you place another order or they'll mess it up (multitasking is not their strong point). From most of the eateries we've been, this is the one thing i can tell you. Service is not competent here. 

During breakfast i saw some tents near the coconut trees and can't help to think if this is one of those people who want to save on chalets or couldn't find rooms and slept on the beach, or are these the bedrooms of the vendors. Because i saw people talking about sleeping on the beach, and my brother actually scared me by saying if you can't find rooms then you just have to sleep on the beach. We had all types of scenarios in our mind with plan B - Get a water taxi to Perhentian Besar to spend the night, and plan C - Get a boat to go to Redang :P

After breakfast, off we go to snorkel again! 

Another pointer for those who have never went to snorkeling before, you have to LET IT GO when you leave the boat into the water. Because if you still hold onto the boat while getting down the water, there WILL be (painful) consequences:

So this time we went to another vendor because according to Kailing who went to Perhentian Besar with her family before and had an aunt who apparently comes to Perhentian very often, Rawa Beach is awesome. So we were looking to go to Rawa Beach trip, which should cost us RM60 but then again i asked for a discount and they discussed among themselves and gave us RM50/each! I didn't even quote and they gave a RM10 discount already! Hahaha sorry i get a little ecstatic when i get good deals, thanks to the 'aunty' side of me.

But one thing that pissed me off about these vendors is that they each have a polysterene box with baby turtles swimming in them. One of the guys "pssssst" me and asked me to go over, and he showed me the turtles. One one hand we are trying so hard to protect the turtle eggs and on the other hand these people are keeping the baby turtles in the boxes to show off to their customers or for what reasons, i didn't know. 

The next day when i got friendlier to the vendors, i asked them what are the turtles for, whether are they for sale or what, one of them told me they cook them. I had the shock of my life and asked him to tell the truth, and he said that their flesh is very sweet to eat. I really didn't know what to do. It's not like i can hijack the box and release them into the sea, Kailing said the boats will kill them before anything. So i just told him that this isn't right and not to do it next time. He just smiled at me. My meek and feeble attempt of saving the turtles was mocked wtf. 

Sorry about that short break of my ranting about me being a spineless being, back to snorkeling stories! 

You should definitely go to the Rawa Beach trip! It was so much better than the Long Trip we went yesterday (it's a locally known term, almost everywhere goes to the same points for Long Trips and Short Trips). Well it's called the Rawa Beach trip because one of the places is called Rawa Beach, but actually the nicest place IMO was Serenyeh. A picture of the menu (?) of the vendor i went, just for your reference. 

According to the guy i talked to, we're having a convoy! Love convoys on speedboats man :) So our group of 7 separated 4-3 into two boats to our trip! And Serenyeh was beautifullllll. I loved it, everything looks so surreal, fishes swimming past you. LIVE corals opening and closing right beneath you.

After Serenyeh, we went to this place called Tokong Burung, where there are no temples, just rocks with a lot of birds resting on it. There was nothing much over there, the coral reefs are almost repetitive when you go to different islands of the same area. Here, our boatman said he'll show us a SUPER big fish with a bump on the head. I kept swimming and swimming looking for a super big fish but none in sight! I kept emerging from the water and asking him "Mana ikan besarrrrr" and he'll say "Tungguuuuuu". And it repeats after a few more minutes. What an annoying customer i am, i realised.

See how the fishes gather in the picture above? That's when a piece of bread falls into the ocean and all the fishes swim towards it at full speed. Probably because i was so annoying about the super big fish that the other boatman kept throwing pieces of bread at my face when i was in the water. When i said at my face, it was LITERALLY at my face! The first time, i yelled because all the fishes are swarming towards my face, and probably he thought it was funny and did it again. And again. And again. At last i went up the water and told him i'll slap him in BM. In a joking-ish way, of course (i don't want him to throw me off the boat wtf).

For me, i prefer fishes in moderation, and not when the whole school of fish is right in front of me, like so:

Well, selfies were a bitch in the water. Mostly it was because Ryan didn't want to take the GoPro stick anymore since she dropped the camera in the water the first day and had to ask the boatmen to get it for her. Taking pictures of ourselves with the hand.... Well, results in only a few people being in the picture, at weird angles. Just to show you how failed our photos underwater were;

And asking someone else to take our photo had problem too because we tried to stay in one line formation, but there was the current and life jacket making us float around aimlessly, out of our control. The photos look so funny when i look back, so many failed attempts at a good photo hahaha. And i asked for flippers the 2nd day because i saw the couple from the 1st day going in without life jacket and it seems more free. Also i remembered my last snorkeling trip umpteen years ago when i used flippers, it was SO fun because i get to go places a lot faster than usual. 

At last, we tried asking one of the boatmen to take a picture of us, and he went down to get a photo of us, which turned out quite eerie and BLUR. Fail fail fail wtf we look like corpses floating on the sea. 

He also commented on how dangerous because we didn't have a strap for the GoPro and it might fall down. So i said he would take it for us in the event it really did drop into the ocean. That's what super swimmers boatmen are for right? Save us in time of need :) 

Maybe because the boatmen today were younger than the guy who took us at Day 1, the trip was a little bit more friendly and enjoyable. You see, when the guides are not friendly to you, they don't bring you around to see more awesome things which you normally wouldn't see yourself because you're not familiar with the place. So yeaah. After we had our fun, the idiot boatman who threw bread at my face saved some bread for Rawa Beach, and off we went. 

Rawa Beach was a beach where the coral reef was a LOT closer to the beach than normal beaches would, so it was nice. But the highlight of this point (in fact, the WHOLE trip) was that one of the boatmen brought me and Kailing, to a further point for skin diving while the rest have a photo shooting session on the beach. If you think that it was creepy for the guy to bring only me and Kailing, it was because only the both of us can swim. I'm not much of a good swimmer myself, but it'll suffice for snorkeling. I couldn't do skin diving because my body just automatically floats when i try to immerse myself in the water, and i just couldn't keep my breath in long enough. But the guy kept asking me to try, so i tried. I KEPT FLOATING OKAY WTF. Probably because i was such a failure he was afraid Kailing was the same as me so he only let us dive in at clear areas where there wasn't corals where we could hit our head and die and he will be liable. 

We didn't bring camera, so this awesome experience is left to my own memory to preserve. I got to see sharks, which i failed to see in Day 1 at Shark Point (oh the irony), and also the super big fish with a bump on the head, which actually is called Green Humphead Parrotfish (discovered when i read the first blog link i posted again when i came back from my trip), Christmas Tree worms, and lots of other beautiful sea creatures. 

Picture taken from Google to show you guys the Green Humphead Parrotfish

After Rawa Beach, we went to our last point, the Light House where we only went there to jump off the light house into the sea. Before i jumped, one of the boatmen asked me to tighten my bikini top in case it comes off, so i reinforced the knot. And then he asked me to jump with hands crossed over my body like so: 

Wtf right. Purposely got a picture off Google with naked lady hehee. But i did it anyway and jumped. MY TOP STILL CAME OFF LOR WTF. Even though i AM flat chested and have nothing much to parade anyway, i still do not want my dignity floating around in the sea water for other snorkelers to see okay. So i panicked and swam back to the ladder with one hand holding my bikini top, waiting for Shilpa to jump into the water and help me tie my top. And then i sat down there and never jumped again after until when we need to get back to the boat to go back, i jumped again.

So back we went. This is the view of Long Beach from far away. If you want convenience of everything there and crowd, i would suggest Long Beach because from what i see of other beaches, Long Beach is the longest beach (haha ikr) on Perhentian Kecil with the most accomodation available and vendors. This is based on my observation when we were stopping by all the beaches around Perhentian Kecil on the way back. 

By the time we reached the beach, the boatman told his other buddies that i was manja because i only jumped once wtf. After i tried explaining myself about the bikini top and all then i realised why do i even bother. Right? Fill my stomach. So we had lunch. At the same place again hahaha.

2nd day look. See any difference from the first day? Because my burns were CRAZY painful by night time. I have other photos which show more obvious burns but it's not appropriate to be shown on the internet, so yeah. Hehe. Hmmm. 

Again, the rest wanted to go back to the room to nap, so Kailing, Ryan and me stayed back to chill and enjoy the beach while slowly nomming my ice blended fruit juice (yes, AGAIN). And then Ryan went back. So me and Kailing went around for a stroll along the beach, while i take pictures of other chalets and stuff so that i can post it on my blog. 

It's D'Rock Gardens Resorts alright. There are chalets on the rocks and also on the garden. Funny thing is Panorama chalet gets a panoramic view of the ocean and Matahari chalet gets matahari (well duhh). Names are pretty literal here i guess. Hahaha. 

And then Kailing thought she could find her soul in the water and tried finding it by sitting there alone. 

Jokesss. But yeah i left her there alone and went back to bathe because she wanted to sit in the water and stare at the horizon because there was no more scorching sunlight. Not my cup of tea. On my way out of the beach, i saw me and Kailing's footprints. Guess which is which? 

On my way back, i saw that the people were getting ready for Friday night! With little tables out and shisha stalls ready for business. Yes, you get shisha there but at RM30 a bong, according to my brother. No shishas were necessary since we had our vodkas to keep us company.

Reached the room, bathe, and then went out to our balcony to chill. 

At times when the electricity supply were cut off, you see everyone going out to the balcony to chill. Which was my favourite past time. The room was just too dark and gloomy to my liking. And then Ryan said she wanted to go to the bar to grab a beer and i was like WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT WHEN WE HAVE OUR OWN BOTTLE COME LET'S ALL GO. So Kailing, Ryan and me grabbed our bottle, some beach towels, and the 3 of us started early on the beach. It was such a surreal experience, facing the sea, listening to the waves, just after sunset, and drinking. The rest of the night was history. Let's just say i ticked this off my bucket list. 

Day 3

Kailing and me were planning to go for scuba diving at RM200 before we take the last boat ride back to Kuala Besut at 4pm today, but there were some hiccups and we went for kayaking instead. At the end of the kayak i still remembered Kailing telling me that she was so worried i wouldn't paddle at all and leave it all to her after hearing me say "Whoa the paddle is so heavy man" when i first lifted it up. 

But BOY WAS IT A TIRED JOURNEY WTF. And i didn't even go far! We just paddled about 20m away from the shore, made a round and came back to the same spot. I had to rest like a billion times because i spent half my energy laughing at Kailing's insults for my paddling skills. Mostly laughing at myself actually. I even hit her with the paddle a few times (lightly and gently of course) to get her to stop talking hahaha. Good thing was the sea was quite calm that day, so there wasn't much resistance or extraordinary strength needed or needing to get immersed in the water in the event the kayak overturned. While we got near the shore there were a few times we couldn't control the movement of the boat (thanks to my noobie skills), we almost went titanic on a few boats nearby okay omg. Kailing said i embarrassed her in front of the ang mohs swimming in the water nearby by yelling "OMG OMG OMG WE'RE GONNA HIT THE BOAT WE'RE GONNA HIT THE BOAT OMG KAILING KAILING KAILING WE'RE GONNA HIT THE BOAT". It's only normal okay anyone would have yelled that hmph i rest my case. 

And there were a lot of ang mohs looking at our way. I have no idea why. As if it was their ang moh territory and we Chinese invaded their land. But in the end when one couple asked us where did we rent the kayak, only did we know the true reason they were staring at us. Or it was because of our poor synchronization of paddling or because of Kailing's lack of skills to avoid titanic moments (hence failing to avoid making me hysterical). Cough cough. 

Did i say this was my first experience kayaking? Well it was. And i thought i would have taken a few pictures so i brought my camera in a ziploc bag out. Little did we know, some water entered the bag and totally wrecked my camera. If anyone knows how to fix a Lumix camera with 'system error (focus)', do let me know? I Googled it and i was told to dismantle it wtf. So yeah, no pictures of our 3rd day, which was quite normal actually. 

Everyone woke up, we packed, went on the water taxi from the shore to the boat for RM2/each, then PRESENT YOUR RECEIPT/TICKET TO THE BOATMAN. There were two backpacker white girls who were ransacking their bags to find the ticket they had bought and made the whole boat waited for so long, only to come up with the receipt for the purchase of ticket and the boatman agreed to accept that. And then we stopped at several stops around Perhentian Kecil before actually heading back to Kuala Besut. It was crazeh packed in the boat, it's like the boatman is trying to utilize every single square inch of the boat to the maximum. 

Reached Kuala Besut at 6-ish, and we went to Restoran Lucky to have a sit to wait for the bus. It's kind of the famous place for Perhentian tourists to wait for buses there, as i see many tourists having their meals there with a beer. So out come our unfinished bottle! But in the end i was the only one who was excited to drink while having our meal and ended up drinking #foreveralone. Woe is me T.T

And then we sat, chatted, while Evelyn, Moh and me complained like a bitch about our sunburns while waiting for the bus to come at 8.30pm. Bus ride was the same, except the fact that i had more sleep this time because i was physically exhausted and needed sleep. And i got first row of the top deck in a double decker bus! It was awesome! For me. I like seeing the road we're going to travel on, especially when it's not from a car's view. When i wasn't sleeping i will just stare at the road blankly. 

I'm sure you guys are not interested in how i got to the bus station, waited for Evelyn's brother to come fetch me while my brother was drunk celebrating his birthday somewhere, how i reached home, bathe, unpacked and continued watching Vampire Diaries until the sun came out then have a nap right. So yeah. Stay tuned for my sun burnt skin post next ;) 

Peace out, peeps! 

One person's thoughts

In light of the recent hazy hoo-ha, i have found the rekindled desire to express my thoughts on this semi-abandoned blog of mine after a conversation with a friend of mine today.

The conversation started with the weather (Malaysians now can talk about the weather too, not just English people! Hah.), as the heat and humidity of this little country of mine had escalated rather dramatically in the past week no thanks to the haze caused by the burning of forest in our Sumatera, yet again. According to news and personal observation, this is the worst haze the country had experienced in history and i'm quite surprised that despite the fact that this happens on an annual basis, no action has been taken yet.

Anyway, back to the topic. And then we get to talk about air-conditioning, and i just slipped in a "I didn't switch on the air conditioning for the the whole week", and he was taken aback, a reaction which i get a lot in this ghastly weather. When i reasoned out that i did it because i did not want to contribute more heat to the atmosphere than it already has, he blatantly said "What difference can one person make?".

I felt a tsunami of emotion overwhelming me in a split second.

I was on the verge of going berserk with 10001 arguments to fire back at that statement.

Being the composed person that i always am *cough cough*, i took a deep breath and said "What if 100,000 people thought like you?". At that point of time, i didn't bother attempting to go into a deeper discussion/debate pertaining the topic because how can a person who utters that loathing statement be able to understand anything other than their own little bubble of thoughts?

As my thoughts struck me in the wee hours of the morning when i'm doing my revision (yes, my thoughts start to wander in the serenity and quietness of the night), how different am i from him? Here i am, constantly reminding myself not to be stereotypical and judgmental, finding myself stereotyping and judging  to the max. It was my duty to set his crooked thinking straight and yet i discharge myself of that duty because i was set that this man's thinking is not worth  a debate.

My thinking was, a big change starts with a baby step. But how long have i been constant in my baby steps? I have only been doing things myself, not reaching out. Same goes to my evangelism activities. I have been stagnant for way too long. It should be the time that i gather all that i have and move to the next step. *semangat membara-bara*

Easier said than done, huh?

On a completely side note, i was very happy that one of my friend asked for the title of the song i had linked in my previous post, Consuming Fire, because she wanted to listen to it :) Glad that you found it nice *wink* !

There is so many things i can link to this blog post, i think i won't be able to finish it by 8am. However, i would like to share this very meaningful article with all ye Malaysians who are set that "All hope is lost in Malaysia", yet another sentence i loathe at the sound of it. I have JonWoon to thank for sharing this link on Facebook.

People think polices in Malaysia are not doing anything about the crime, Malaysia has been infested with corruption and scrutinizing every change to the country that was done. I won't deny that these issues are in light of concern of the nation, but things are not as bad as they seem, especially when you have sculpted your thinking and judgment based on sources which are not credible (i.e. Facebook posts, complaints of friends over Teh Tarik).

Sigh. I really DO think a lot at night huh?

Well my biological clock had been nocturnal these few days, no thanks to my attempt to speed up my assignment progress to make way for final's revision, and i found out that i was most productive at ungodly hours like now (4.45am). There's something about the serenity and quietness that i found a liking for. I finally understood my Pakistani friends' passion for staying up the whole night while sleeping the day away. But i have this weird habit of not liking to sleep when the sun has come up. I am the new definition of weirdo!

So much to do, so little time, yet i find myself coming to Blogger to let a little of Fiona thoughts out of my system. Thank you Blogger for letting me spill my thoughts for 4 years! Even though you've apparently became mainstream (according to someone-YES I'M TALKING ABOUT YOU, YOU-KNOW-WHO-YOU-ARE. lol), i thank you for recording my life's journey so that one day i can look back and read up all my immature and childish thoughts from when i'm young till..... i stop writing here.

Anyhoooo. I'm signing off to Dreamland now. Praying for the dreadful haze to subside, and i plead for all of you to help pray for the haze to subside as well :) My once acne-free skin has become an eyesore to mankind now, no thanks to the pollution i'm exposed to.

Mother Earth, i'm so sorry about what we've done to you.

There must be more than this.

School. Books. Exams. Assignments. Food. Work. Money. Entertainment. Fun.

There must be more than life to this. If i were to be called back to my Father in heaven today, i'd be dying (LOL the pun) for an extension, for i have so many, though unknown, things yet to be done.

The Earth is in a worrying state, Malaysia needs the support of those who believe she can still be saved, that one day she will be a beautiful Nation with people who loves God, and the world of technology is taking over the world.  

So many problems, but you only have one lifetime. 

Starting with my worries about technology, not that i'm not a person of technology, because compared to my parents and grandparents' time i am very much into technology and pretty much grew up with technology around me. And if you see me now, i'm pretty much holding my smartphone with me wherever i go. But do i still enjoy reading a book, smelling its musty smell, or reading the newspaper, getting my fingers black? Yes. Do i (occasionally) enjoy sweating, being out in the Sun around plants and trees listening to the birds chirping and crickets creakin? Yes. Will i survive an entire day without gadgets? Yes. 

Being at the age where you see babies being born left, right, front and at the back of you, you would start noticing the different upbringing of a child in the era where a kid's meal would consist of French Fries and junks, flipping the pages of a book (IF they ever read one) would be swiping your finger from right to left on the iPad, and the only way to shut a crying baby up is to hand them your smartphone or tablet for a game. Is this how i would raise my future kids? I dread it. 

I find myself relying on technology so much that it scares me. I always use the amazing application Waze when i need to find something, instead of the old conventional way of using my brain or asking around. Technology had molded our mindset into "Don't waste time on trial and error, get i right on the first time" which doesn't actually sound evil, but is an error due to trying bad? There's a saying : 

"You haven't seen the light until you've seen darkness."

How true is this statement? Not that i am encouraging everyone to SEEK darkness, but life gives you a whole new pair of goggles after you've experienced a certain part of life. So there's no harm in trying right? Gu Jun Pyo (Lee Min Ho) once said in Boys Over Flowers (Yes, i watched that movie DON'T JUDGE :P ) : 

"I'd rather regret doing something rather than regret not doing something"

However, with the one of the many gift of God to mankind ; technology, a borderless world was born. There must be something we can do with this, right? It might be a blessing in disguise for a meek little person like me.

I want to try saving the environment, I want to try help Malaysia to grow into a better nation, I want to find out what the Lord has in store for me, I want to find out who I am, I want to find out my place on this Earth, I want to find out where I belong. 

So many wants, but there is no scarcity of resources here. (Economics in life, uhuh)

Where do I start? How will I know if this is not one of my hot chicken shit desires? How will I carry these out?
I need a fire, I need a kick (yes, kick not a push cos it won't suffice), I need a path miraculously opened to me in the wilderness. 


Pray, pray, and pray for the answer will be the answer. Until i get the answer, i will continue to believe and continue trying in the little baby steps i am able to do as of now as He had told us to do.


Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. Matthew 7 : 7 

Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours. Matthew 11 : 24

If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer. Matthew 21 : 22

Sharing this song with all of you because its lyrics are a story to my feeling as of now

There must be more than this,
O breath of God come breathe within,
There must be more than this,
Spirit of God we wait for You.
Fill us anew we pray,
Fill us anew we pray.
(Chorus)
Consuming fire fan into flame,
A passion for Your Name,
Spirit of God won't you fall in this place,
Lord have Your way,
Lord have Your way with us,
Come like a rushing wind,
Clothe us with power from on high,
Now set the captives free,
Leave us abandoned to Your praise.
Lord let Your glory fall,
Lord let Your glory fall.
(Chorus)
Consuming fire fan into flame,
A passion for Your Name,
Spirit of God won't you fall in this place,
Lord have Your way,
Lord have Your way with us,
Come like a rushing wind,
Clothe us with power from on high,
Now set the captives free,
Leave us abandoned to Your praise.
Lord let Your glory fall,
Lord let Your glory fall,
(Chorus)
Consuming fire fan into flame,
A passion for Your Name,
Spirit of God won't you fall in this place,
Lord have Your way,
Lord have Your way with us,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts,
A passion for Your Name.
(A passion for Jesus)
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts Lord,
Stir it up in our hearts,
A passion for Your Name.

Does all roads lead to Rome?

I remembered feeling this lost and disoriented 5 years ago (if not worse), when it was the end of high school. Everyone was like, "I wanna be a doctor so i'm going into medicine!" and "I like numbers so i'll do accounting!". Me? I'm that girl who went to numerous counselors and consulted many advisers from many college booths during education fair, and even visited the colleges to inquire about what i should be doing after my SPM. Every single college gave me the same answer ; pre-university. Just 'cuz i was so indecisive and do not know what i wanted to do. Next step : WHICH pre-university? And what subjects? I do know that i will not step foot in the science stream again, but i always know what i hate instead of what i like, which makes it all the more frustrating.

Long story short, i went into AH-FUCK-IT mode and went through STPM in accounting which was highly supported by my parents, and went back into the dilemma of which course to take, in which college? Do i still want to be in accounting even though i went through hell for the past 1.5 years?

5 years down the road, i'm still at the same spot where i was. Which company to intern in? In which field? Which division? Do i STILL want to stay in the accounting field?

This love-hate relationship with accountancy, which leans more towards hate but every once in awhile the love starts to stir up my feelings, sucks to the max!

I can't help but to feel like a big fat loser. Well i'm literally fat too cos i've gained a bit of weight since i came to college BUT that aside, the loser part was mainly due to the fact that i have not moved an inch since 5 years ago. Well, i can't deny that 5x365 days had brought my eyes to many unseen places and have brought me to where i am now. Which is why there are more information and perspective to consider when i'm thinking of what to do next, which sums up to 1 word : headache. 

Somewhere down the road, at a point i felt like i was called to do something with this life which was bestowed upon me. Something aside from being an office person. But what?

All these senseless rantings aside, i had a feeling that the answer lies somewhere deep down in me, somehow. I just need to dig deep enough to find that little answer out, and Lord, won't you help me? Take me out of this misery of dilemma, use me as a vessel to do what Your will. 

If only my life can be a little more organized and have a clear-cut shape, unlike my notes :(

You can see some of the mountains, but you can't see the whole picture.

Paths blurred by the cold mist and the journey to the beautiful mountains beyond the cold mist and wilted trees are about to begin.

Say, does all roads, no matter how winding it may be, lead to Rome?

This one year.

In case you're thinking that someone hacked into my Blogger account to update a post, you're thinking too much and it's just me somehow somewhere finally decided to click on 'Blogger' on my bookmarks bar (yes, it's on my bookmarks bar) after a century of ignoring it.

After every semester break, i would think "Hmmm maybe i should write a post about this semester", but somehow i've decided that sitting around doing God knows what on the laptop for hours seems more interesting. After my first year had ended, i was (quite) fired up to write a post as well, but....... Oh well. Anyways, with a huff and a puff, i'm currently in my first semester of second year for my bachelor's degree. I've even finished half of my first semester, to be precise. And of ALL the free time i had, i had the urge to blog when i'm supposed to be researching materials for my auditing assignment. Le sigh. The life of a college student is such. On a side note, i can't believe i've only written 14 posts ever since i've entered college life when i used to write a post a day, or sometimes even two!

It's funny how people go through transition, no? I'm not saying changes aren't good, cos i can't say i'm the same person i was before. Or rather, i can definitely say i'm not the same person i was anymore. What led me to feel melancholic tonight was when i've decided to read one of my favourite blog and felt how much she had changed since she was studying in the US. And the fact that many of my friends are graduating (i have a number of friends who are older than me) and shared their life transition stories and greatest fear after graduation with me, led me thinking too. Just yesterday i stumbled upon the best quote i could use at the moment ; Progress is impossible without change. And those who cannot change their mind cannot change anything - George Bernard Shaw. People experience so many things every day in their lives which gradually made them to what they are as of today, and that's not such a bad thing at all, isn't it? For those who say 1 year ain't a big difference do NOT know what they're talking about.

Let me just very (tremendously) quickly summarize what this past year has been for me, with visual aid some more okay cos i'm awesome like that. I think i will never, ever, EVER forget my management assignment which we took 3 days, almost 2 nights to finish. We went from SS15 starbucks to Sunway Pyramid's starbucks, to Sunway University's foyer, and also to HL's house (final stop before i walked back to Sun-U Residence to bathe and went straight for our morning class after).

Okay lah we were actually trying to get some very short power nap before continuing work again but HL wanted to take a picture so we were somewhat posing and also somewhat trying to get that rest we desperately need. This memory will forever be embedded in my mind, to serve as a reminder to NEVER do assignments last minute. Especially one which carries 30% weightage in your finals. No amount of concealer would cover my dark circles the next day! The amount of comments i got on my panda eyes made me wanna dig a hole in the sand and hide in there till it gets better.

We've somewhat expanded our little groupie. Despite the fact that i was in a Convent, primary and secondary school, i could say this is the first time i've grown so close to one particular group of girls in such depth. Progress, as i've mentioned :)

Had numerous trips to places around which eventually brought all of us closer to each other.

I have finally found friends who are willing to wear bikini (or bra, in some cases) with me to a beach! Le awesome awesome beach life. And thanks to a certain someone, i have somewhat rekindled my burning passion to go diving after my last scuba-dive in Form 1. I sooo wanna touch anemone again :(

Picture credis to Moh Moh, the girl on the far left. Cos she's a photography enthusiast like that. When i was still very active for my blog, i was somewhat taking pictures around too, just far far FAR less enthusiastic as her, and sometimes i even have a post in mind and i take pictures FOR that post. Artistic much? Hmmm :)

I've somewhat makeup more regularly, and by regularly i meant every day to school! Just basic eyeliner and mascara though. BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND MY........ *drum rolls* HG LINER AND HG MASCARA!!

Lo and behold! Dolly Wink liquid eyeliner in black and Blinc mascara in black :) I have previously tried SO many eyeliners and geliners, but to no avail they all smear on me, some quite badly. WITH the help of primer, may i add. My oily lids are beyond help. But these two babies.. I wanna marry them over and over again cos they're so awesome like that! Oh and did i mention that these two are removable by ONLY WATER?? Hard to believe such great smudge-proof products could be washed off by mere water ey? I feel like i can take the world with these two babies in my bag :)

Coming next, the edgy me.

I have not mention that i had purple hair in my previous posts, did i? WEll i did :) And it was awesome..... While it lasted.

I was warned that these fashion colours do not last long, but it still hurts for it to go off so soon :( Despite the fact that i've gotten complements ALONG the fading process, i still prefer my original purple colour. In the middle it was kind of weird, where it was a little purple, pink and blonde at the end of my hair. 2 months have passed and it had went completely pink, and before i knew it.....

I'm now getting blonde-ish stripes in the midst of my brown hair with pink-ish highlights. No picture of the latest hair because it's not really a sight to see. Gotten numerous comments that my hair is super dry, not that i'm not aware of that but there's really nothing much to be done, isn't it? Maybe one day when i can't take the colour anymore i'll go back to black and then not do anything to my hair for a while for it to grow healthy....... and then decide what to do then, when it can take chemical treatments :)

I got married.

To my boyfriend HL! With super awesome wedding rings okay we're the most hip couple you can ever find bwahahaha okay cock-talking aside, our dear Emily got married :)

Okaaaay fine fine actually i'm just making an excuse to post a picture of me and Barney for her wedding reception because we looked like a mafia couple here! Partly because HE looks like a mafia himself and so happened that i was also wearing a black dress that day, and we were travelling to her wedding together.

Have you seen your calender? Well, it IS october now, so...........

OKTOBERFEST WE MEET AGAIN!!

It was a crazy month for me, for a NON-beer drinker to have so much beer just because there were so many good deals for good beers around. And also because i wanted to help my brother to collect these mugs, i actually drank 1L of Tiger beer *puke*. Have i also mentioned that i went out with this group of crazy friends who finished 2 barrels of Starker aromatic (on my request ♥ ) in 1.5 hours????  Well, it was a fun night despite the bloatedness we had to deal with afterwards.

Well i'm just gonna end the post here abruptly, mostly because my body is not how it was last time, and it does not favour late nights except when i'm out partying or am forced to due to assignments (ahhh the joy). I believe that my lifespan will shorten the more i stay up late so i 'save' them up for fun nights and occasions where i'm forced to do it. Short update of my one year as my comeback, but i can promise i won't be updating the next post after one year, because that is just wrong! I will take more pictures, because looking back through the pictures on my blog and hard disk are awesome like that :) Peace out!

p/s : Due to a certain someone's influence, i'm on Twitter a LOT more often than here, so do follow me there if you feel disconnected with me or my life.